You Are The Sacrifice

It's Friday the 13th, and so as if the vibrations weren't ominous enough, tomorrow is V-Day.  That's right, you sad, lonely motherfuckers.  Valentine's Day is here again, and it has to be the most brutal of all holidays celebrated here in North America.  It's based on one of the more sacred and bloody mayan holidays found on the "Aztec calendar".  History tells us of a two day orgy of sacrifice, where up to 84, 000 lives were sacrificed, according to Ahuitzotl, the great speaker himself.  This took place at the great pyramid of Tenochtitlan on February 14th and 15th, 1487.

At this point the details are fuzzy at best, since many of the ancient paintings and carvings were altered by the catholic church during the lesser known, but equally murderous Central American crusades, which have been all but ignored by Hollywood.  From what we can tell, based on various prison tattoos and illustrations found in publications like Lowrider magazine, the heart would be held up to the sun in a symbolic manner before it was placed on a plate of chocolate (usually 70% cacao or higher) and poblano chiles before it was pierced and skewered by one long stem red rose.  That's right, just one rose, and not a dozen, but there were twelve elders, mostly shamans and astrologers, who would collect the excess blood from the bodies.  That blood was mixed with traditional spices and fruit juices, then consumed luke warm by the shaman, who also ate massive amounts of mescaline, which had nothing to do with this particular ceremony really, but it was all good times.  The shamans chanted and danced for hours to the pulsing drumbeats of their blood bathed psychedelic hallucinations, and at the end of the trip, they would present roses, that only they could see, to those who were pure of mind and body.  Virgins?  Probably. 

So happy Valentine's Day, and good luck bartering your love and sexual intimacy for meaningless objects like stuffed animals and heart shaped boxes of cherry covered chocolates.

For future reference, Mardi Gras involves a lot of bartering of sexual acts for beads, which have no real meaning or value outside of Mardi Gras, but in New Orleans, in February!?  Think about it, and you can even write it off as doing your part to bring one of our greatest cities back to life after the tragedy of hurricane Katrina.

One Love,

Jay Unidos